Blame Bill Cosby

My daughters, all of two and three years old, think it's the height of comedy to walk up to me, point at my face, and insult me. Really. I'm getting insulted by pre-schoolers, and I blame Bill Cosby.

The girls like to watch Little Bill, a cartoon that Bill Cosby created (and, coincidentally, my cousin Shauna animated for. Shauna was the talent behind those beautiful pictures of Clara and her toy trains last year.) In one particular episode, a new kid who likes to toss around insults comes to Little Bill's school. He walks up to Little Bill and says, "You're a peanut-head!" As an objective observer, I'd have to agree that Little Bill's head is shaped just like a peanut, but that's neither here nor there. Little Bill gets his feelings hurt and his dad shows him how to deal with mean kids.

It's a cute episode and can be very useful for little kids who are sensitive to what other kids say to or about them. But my girls seemed to miss all the positive stuff and zeroed in on how fun it seemed to insult someone. Clara will point and say, "You're a peanut!" to me, which I guess is supposed to be insulting, though Megan has always used it as a term of endearment with the girls: "Come on, Peanut. Hold my hand."

I didn't want to make a big deal about this phase because then she'd think it was even more cool to do it, but now that she's gotten Kate to do it they feed off each other. I definitely don't want them to do it to other kids.

Me: Hi sweeties!
Kate: You're a peanut!
Me: I'm a peanut? I thought I was your Daddy.
Clara: You're a poopy diaper!
Me: What?!?
Kate & Clara: You're a poopy diaper! You're a poopy diaper! (lots of laughter)
Me: Is it your bedtime yet?

Clara will take anything marginally inappropriate and turn it into an insult:

Clara: You're a bootie!
Me: You know what you are? You're beautiful.
Clara: You're a tooty-boy!
Me: Great.

So, thanks Bill Cosby.