Saturday, March 15, 2008

I think my neighbor's in the mafia

The house next door has sat vacant for almost a year and a half. We met the new owner, and he seems like a nice guy, but he sure isn't in any hurry to move in. In fact, since he bought the house there has been a steady stream of workers going in and out of the house - with no obvious changes to the house. Sometimes there will only be one truck in the driveway, sometimes a dozen. If they're making significant changes to the interior, they must be doing it with very small tools or with great attention to the slightest detail for it to take a year and a half.

With increasing good weather recently has come something a bit more troubling: workers sitting on the back porch in lawn chairs. I kid you not. It's like I have Vito Spatafore and Philip "Philly Spoons" Parisi next door fulfilling their no-work contracts. I keep expecting to see Paulie Walnuts in his shiny gray track suit walking around using his index and pinky fingers to point at things. If someone pulls out a reflective tanning board and starts sunning his chin I'm moving. Unfortunately for me, Kate loves them. She runs over to the fence and yells, "HI!" while giving them her little wave. They all think it's quite sweet, but I can only guess what they're saying about me.

So now I'm getting paranoid about what they are doing over there. I noticed that the basement light is on late into the night. It's not like there's a prison nearby that they can tunnel to, and the closest bank seems a bit far. Whenever a group of them go into the house I look for the one mouthing "help me" in my direction. I'll be the one mouthing back, "no."

Seriously, what do you think they're up to?

7 comments:

shauna said...

I don't know what they're up to, but you've gone a little "Rear Window." You gotta get out more.

Tom said...

Two words..."meth lab"

Dmitri said...

Clearly an illegal gerbil farm.

Anonymous said...

Okay, I need to set the record straight. A few readers think that Joel is serious about this one. He's kidding. As you know I talk to everyone and ask a million questions, so here's the real story... Shawn Bailey (not Italian)is a doctor (ENT to be exact)and his wife, Jenny is a yoga instructor. They are doing a major remodel on a 120 year old home and using a nortoriously slow but good contractor (McMillan Construction Group).

Joel and I netflixed all 6 season's of the Soprano's a few months ago. He definitely needs to get out more.

Joel Bittle said...

The post above is from Megan, by the way

Ernie said...

Ahhh, the old "I'm a doctor and my wife is a yoga instructor" cover-up. Joel, you shouldn't be kidding about this at all...gerbils on meth is not so far fetched in the midwest, I'm told.

Joel Bittle said...

New blog topic: "I think my neighbor's wife is a yoga instructor!"